Friday, August 15, 2014

Penisnose, Corksuker, Chitface and Anusbreath - Update II

Shapray Cramer Fitterman Lamer specializes in corporate theft and commercial conflict enhancement and strategic thingys while screwing your bummy stupid. Shapray Cramer Fitterman Lamer is well known for dynamism (ahuck) ingenuity (yup) and common sense (chitloads), which, when matched by the wealth of the collective experience of our liars, results in untimely, and extremely costly solutions. As long as you can pay, we have an idiot liar for you.

The firm’s clients range from major crooked Canadian Banks to US-based criminal corporations. Our work frequently involves large, complex or high-profile disputes, and we routinely mismanage intricate, multi-party litigation and document-intensive cases and bill you absolutely fukkin stupid when we lose, don't be fukkin ridiculous.

Abbas Sabur
Ask about our token minority liar. We try our fukkin damnest to juice indigent litigants because its dead fun and costs our 100% fully retarded clients (like CIBC) MAJOR and they are so fukkin damn stupid they don't even realize we are doing it. Ahuck.

God Bless da law and us HIGHLY ethical liars eh?
Explanation? After jerking our poor little abused pee pee almost clean off, out boyotard liar figures he needs to apply for a day's worth of costs (probably over $ 6,000) because, well, all that wicked jerky jerky made his poor wrist tired.

Dopus is too dense to figure out this monkey is indigent. That means not only are the chances of convincing a judge of hard done-by-ness slim to fuk all, it means costs are 1000% uncollectible and they are now FAR FAR FAR more than this fukkin claim could ever be "worth". Butt that doesn't matter to the liars at Penisnose, Corksuker, Chitface and Anusbreath ... dipchit CIBC will be paying ultra large for the irresponsible lawyertarding.

Francesco Aquilini, John Tortorella, Mike Gillis
"Much of the distancing revolves around the hiring of Mr. Tortorella, whose reputation as a firebrand and penchant to coach defensive hockey made him a controversial choice last year. On Monday, Francesco Aquilini sent a Globe and Mail reporter a text message warning of legal action after the newspaper published a story discussing the family’s involvement in the hiring.

“I read your article today. You are a prick,” it said. Two hours later, a legal letter from the family’s counsel arrived by e-mail. It alleged defamation, sought a retraction and an apology, and threatened further action.

“The facts are that while the Aquilinis supported the decision of the General Manager, the hiring decision was his and not theirs,” lawyer Howard Shapray of Vancouver-based Shapray Cramer Fitterman Lamer LLP wrote in the legal letter to The Globe.

Howard Shapray

"The legal push also took aim at The Province newspaper in Vancouver, which several weeks earlier in a column had mentioned the Aquilinis’ role in the Tortorella hiring. Mr. Shapray on Monday sent a legal letter to The Province and made similar demands as were made of The Globe."

"The family, according to a person with direct knowledge of the events, was particularly taken with Mr. Tortorella, who had been fiery in the past."

Francesco Aquilini
So there we go Citizens. Wanna get DEAD SERIOUS about calling somebody in the press a prick cause yer feelings are hurt? Give CIBC's counsel a call.

Penisnose, Corksuker, Chitface and Anusbreath will help you with fukkin gusto and irrespective of how stupido it is ... butt never for free bonehead.